


When I'm Older

by ideallyves



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Fluff, Oneshot, hyewon, man ive written a lot of chuuves and a lot are in the drafts but heres a hyewon for once, very very minor angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 18:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17688512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ideallyves/pseuds/ideallyves
Summary: where hyejoo's got the bad case of puppy love.





	When I'm Older

"Come on, Hyejoo. It isn't that bad, open wide~"

I can already feel myself recoil from the stench of the liquid closing into my face. I made sure to pull the bed sheets above my head, fighting off the hand that was now gripping on my sheets.

For a moment, I thought I'd won, but clearly the hands cupping my cheeks was a sign of my defeat.

I slumped over acknowledging my fate, letting out a sigh. I may have been conquered this time, but I certainly won't let it happen next time. The evil may have prevailed, but I _won't_ let this get the better of me. I _will_ stand on my ground. I will _not_ let this get the best of me. I will _come back_ and _fight_ 'till the death!! And I will _not_ ever--

"Hyejoo-- hey! Stop struggling!" The older girl grabbed at my wrist to which I abruptly shot up from. "You know, if you get this over with, you wouldn't have to take this for another ten hours."

"I would rather _die_."

"And I would rather you _not_ die. Now quickly. Open up."

The blonde girl in front of me held the spoon once again, hovering just in front of my face. I took an audible gulp before letting the bitter taste kick in from the contact of my tongue with the terrible remedy.

"It's just cherry flavour. It can't be that bad."

"What's worse than CHERRY flavour!!"

"Banana." She rolled her eyes at the disgusted face I most likely made. It must be a natural reflex of mine.

"Chae..."

"Yes?"

"Please shut the fuck up for a moment."

"I-- what'd I do?!" It may have been a soft punch to the gut, but I still felt that. And maybe the virus attacking me prior to the punch added to the pain or else I wouldn't have felt it much. Son Hyejoo is never weak. 

Maybe it was from the medicine that apparently has fast results, or maybe it was the little migraine piercing through the inner walls of my skull, but I know one thing for sure. The beast needs to return to her slumber. I may have been awoken by the mystical hand earlier, and although I  _did_  trust it at first, I regret that due to the lingering bitterness on my tongue. She could have at least given me a bottle of water, you know...

"Are you done yet?"

I groaned. "Done what?"

"That little monologue of yours that you're mumbling." Now resting on my back, she swept locks of hair away from my face. I could feel the cool air from the sweat that had almost dried up on my forehead. "...You really need to take care of yourself."

"I do!"

"Then what do you call  _this_ , huh?"

Hmm. Cat's got my tongue. How did I end up in this predicament? My diminished state isn't something one would get to see often. 

"Honestly... forgetting to close the window when you go to sleep? You fell asleep with your consoles as well. I can't believe you slept through the cold like that last night."

Ah, I see. The hazy memory of the light winds that had occurred a day ago was the cause of my state. At the moment, I feel as though I was exsanguinated while I was held, while I was strapped to my own bed. 

"Don't give me that look... Here. I'll be right beside you until you fall asleep. Uh. Your  _slumber_ , I mean."

Hm. I did feel warm, but it was most likely from the heat emitting from within me and not from the three layers of sheets. The bed wasn't the comfiest either. It had lost the most of its' spring, and the pillows had been used on one side for far too long. My laziness is getting the better of me, so I shall persevere through the rest of the day and rest easy despite these hard times.

Despite these hard times... just the presence of the older girl sitting on the edge of my bed, sitting closely to the right of me, was calming. I could rest easy from this. And I really did, sleeping through the rest of the night, feeling the little soldiers in my brain tire from continuously attacking my skull's inner walls. It was nice, really. I felt comfort, protected. I felt warm.

-Until I suddenly awoke once more to the loud thump from the outside of my room.

 _Good God... what time is it._  It took most of my strength in order to reach up to take a look at the digital clock sitting on the nightstand. It took me a a couple moments to even lift my head. I was way too groggy for all this. Way too sick. Just let me stay in bed, please.

 

**03:45AM**

 

Curses. I was woken at witching hours. What mongrel would dare to wake me from my rest. I was not in the best state to fend myself at the moment.

My clenched fists loosened when I realized I had accidentally kicked the poor feline off my bed. With an angry mew, the ball of fluff ran out the room through the door that had only been slightly open. It was then that I realized a certain warmth had been lost. That certain warmth that I felt to the right of me before I had fallen asleep. 

Hm. She must have gone home. She must've had adult things to do. 

Turning to the right so that I would be resting on my arm, it was then that I noticed a piece of paper slipped under a bottle of what appears to be water right beside the cherry flavoured medicine from earlier.

Gross.

I lifted the bottle, using my shaky fingers to grab onto the piece of paper. It was neatly folded. How typical of her. Even the penmanship had been neatly done. It was quite noticeable the moment I unfolded it.

_"Don't forget to take your meds. Sorry I had to go, I would've stayed longer but your parents insisted I head home~"_

Well. I definitely won't forget the terrible taste it left for my taste buds. Huh. My parents were home? I wonder if they even bothered to check up on me, their only daughter, slowly dying from a deadly virus, their last heiress, their baby, their--

Okay, maybe this cold is really getting to my head.

And this is totally the best way to spend one's spring break, falling victim to the cold, a victim to my own errors. To be fair, it was an intense play-through. Although I felt there were things missing from the latest remake, I had a good time getting into the game. the remake of Resident Evil 2 had its ups and downs, but it was engaging enough for me to forget what sleep was. Well. I always forget how to sleep when I play my games late night, anyway.

It may be best if I went back to my slumber. She may have left me a note, but if I forget to take the meds, it will be on her. Leaving my side was already one thing. If death comes after a simple mistake as forgetting, then I'll have it written on the stone,  _this was your fault_. Hah. Justice even after death. 

 

***

 

"...and that's how it came to the point as to why Yeojin and I are stuck on cleaning dut-- Hyejoo!"

"Ah!" I shot up, a little startled from the sudden shout. "Ahh... sorry, Yerim. I was just lost in thought."

The brunette in front of me crossed her arms. "Lost in thought? What could be more important than your best friend! I'm actually hurt."

I groaned knowing she couldn't actually mean that when the tone she used was nothing less, nothing more than a teasing tone. "My emotional and physical well-being, thank you very much."

"Well-being? It's been more than a week since you got better with your cold. What else could possibly... oh.  _Oh_. Ohoho!"

"What?"

" _Emotional_  well-being?"

I tilted my head. "What?"

"Ah~ my poor Hyejoo. Lovestruck, now aren't we?" The older girl slammed her palms on the table we sat at, in a bubble tea shop, almost knocking over our orders that were made earlier. "Is it? A certain? Unnie~?" The amount of times the intonations in her voice got higher and higher irked me.

"I hope you choke on a pearl."

"That's aggressive behaviour from someone who was just called out on not paying attention to her BFF. Maybe I should start being more aggressive as well."

"With that look? All people would be afraid of is how bright your smile is."

She feigned shock, placing a hand in front of her mouth. "I guess I really am your sunshine then~"

"Not with those pigtails you aren't."

A hit.

"Hey!" The brunette sat back down in her seat after her attempt to reach across the table. Her attempt proved fruitful as I felt the feeling of a punch lingering on my shoulder. I'm really becoming a target this past week, now haven't I?

I rested my chin on my palm, fists closed, the weight supported by my elbows on the table. I let out a deep sigh, looking at the outside world through the window from across our table, playing a little with the straw of my drink.

"Don't try to avoid the topic! Spill the tea!"

"I think you almost spilt some a few minutes ago."

"That's besides the point! I heard from Unnie that she took care of you, like a baby~"

"Huh? Did she actually say that?"

"No, but I'm pretty sure she would have added that." Yerim could only let out a quick 'ehe' before I quickly used my straw as a means to splatter some of my drink at her. "I- hey! Stop wasting a perfectly good drink!"

"I never liked bubble tea anyway. Why'd I even agree to this."

Yerim preoccupied herself for a moment, grabbing a few too many napkins for just a few small stains on her shirt. "Huh. I never thought of that. Why  _did_  you agree on coming? I literally told you I was feeling bubble tea at the moment. You always decline."

I shrugged, a bit unsure on what to say.

"Ohhh. I see."

"See what?"

"Chaewon-unnie is too far into your head for you to be thinking straight!"

"Yerim--"

"--Figuratively  _and_  literally!"

"Oh my God." I felt the energy drain from me, remembering the feeling of when I was stuck in bed for a few days.

"So. What happened this time?"

"It wasn't a big deal."

"Like how it totally wasn't a big deal when she was the kindest angel to have fallen from heaven after she offered to help you study?" She gave me a cocky, all-knowing look, slowly taking a sip from her drink, making sure to make it as audible as possible. "That's some good tea right there."

Oh, I'm about to spill some tea alright. Maybe that includes Yerim's, which hadn't been secured in its' place since her hands were too busy flailing around. I don't quite understand her sometimes.

"...She tookcareofme."

"Huh? I didn't hear that. Come again?"

"She. Took. Care. Of. Me." I looked away, not wanting the brunette to see the blush I can feel growing.

"Yeah, I know. That's what's got you all inner uwu's? Thought it'd be something bigger than that--"

"It  _is_  big!" Maybe that was a bit too loud, as I could see a few other customers' heads turn towards our table. "Uh, I mean. It  _is_  big," I said, in a softer voice.

Yerim's confused expression was telling.

"I... she took care of me. She took her own time just to make me drink that disgusting cherry flavoured cough syrup. You know what this means?" The brunette shook her head. "She's treating me like a child! She still sees me as a child."

"Eh, you're a pretty big baby sometimes, especially when you kinda get clingy."

"That-- is not completely false, but! This is terrible! If all she'll ever see me is as a child, will she never see me as a woman?"

"You're only sixteen though?"

"For now! ...When Chae graduates, I don't want her to see me as just a kid forever..." I kept playing with my drink, stirring it, the little pearls rolling on top of each other. Really, I was grateful for all the care she has given me, but I don't want to keep being on the receiving end for so long.

"Hmm." Yerim tapped an index to her chin, as if actually giving a serious thought. "I think this is a problem between you and unnie. Just talk! It's not like it's the end of the world."

The brunette took a final sip from her drink, leaving it almost empty, if not for the pearls that were left at the bottom. I watched as she used her straw, trying to dig the remains out. Huh... do I have to talk? I mean, I could just let everything pass by, although I would feel a bit left behind... Gah. This is hurting my head. Much like how my head ached from the virus I had battled more than a week ago. 

I took a sip from my drink, only to wrinkle my nose.

_Why did I agree to this?_

 

***

 

I was laid spread out on a much comfier bed compared to mine, the one I was bound to for a few days too long. I didn't really have much else to do at the moment, listening to the clock, tick, tock, tick, tock... I've been stuck doing this for almost an hour, and I don't think I can keep going for much longer. If it weren't for the softness of this mattress, I would've gone mad from the amount of time I've been laying doing nothing. The only times I was able to be still for this long were when I was preoccupied from one of my videogames. But even then, I would usually be bouncing up and down from joy or ready to chuck my controllers at the screen from pent up anger and frustration. Do I have anger management issues? Nah, I probably just took these games too seriously.

I looked over at the hunched over figure at the nearby desk. Her gold locks were tied up in a low ponytail. Even from behind, I could tell how serious she was, how much effort she was putting into her own studies. Compared to me, I was lazing around, providing none such use other than being there, warming her bed up.

"Hey, Chae?"

It took a moment for her to respond. "Mm?" She didn't look back the slightest.

"What's your plan?"

"My plan? Exactly in what context do you mean by that?"

"Your plan. For the future, that is. Like uni, or jobs, or you know. Adult stuff." I sat up, still talking to the back of the older girl.

Well, I was talking to her back, but she decided to stop for a moment, putting her pen down and turning her body and chair towards me. "What's gotten you so interested?"

I shrugged.

"Huh... right now, I'm just applying for all the good universities there are. Hopefully, I'll be able to be successful."

"I'm sure you will."

"Thanks, Hyejoo." She was already half way turning back to her studies until she turned back. "Hey. You know, depending on which university I get into, I may have to move away."

"Oh. Cool."

A brow rose from the other. "Oh. Cool? That's it?"

"...Do you think you would forget about me?" She looked shock from my question.

"What? Forget about you? Of course not, Hyejoo! You'll always be my baby, even when the day of your graduation comes." She picks up her pen once again, continuing where she left off.

What she said. It was supposed to be reassuring. Supposed to. But why did I feel so uneasy from that? It was a quick statement, yet the words remained stuck in my ears. I gnawed at the inners of my cheek. 

"Baby?"

The older girl perked up again. "Huh? Uh, yeah."

"Like a kid?"

"Pfft, I mean babies are kinda younger than just a kid."

"So I'm  _just_  a kid to you, huh." Even with my body turned away from the older girl, I could tell she gave herself a moment, trying to understand the meaning behind my words.

"Hyejoo? Did I say something wrong?" 

I refuse to look back.

"No. Nothing. It's not a big deal."

"If it wasn't such a big deal, you would be saying that without having to avoid looking at me." 

Gah. She knows me too well. Still, I hold my ground.

"I'm not a baby..."

"Well yeah. I know you aren't. I was referring to you as a baby just as a term of endearment. Like figuratively, you know?"

"So that means you know, you still view me as one."

I could tell just how confused she must be right now. Even I don't know what I'm saying. I'm kind of going on a spree, just saying whatever comes to mind. Not really the best thing to do, yes, but at the moment, my brain isn't functioning all too well. Maybe it's from the bubble tea I was forced to finish. Curses.

"You know, if it bothers you that much, just tell me and I'll stop using it--"

"It's not just that! It's way more than just that!"

I could hear the older girl struggling to respond, obviously not expecting my sudden outburst. A few seconds pass, and I took that as my chance.

"You-- you were always there. You always took care of me. Especially when my parents cared more about their job than they did for me... I mean, they still do." I lowered my head. Maybe I was getting too emotional from this. "Chae, you were like-- my idol! Up until now, you still are! You work so hard for yourself and the people around you, yet you give me special treatment. Like you're supposed to be my legal guardian or something."

"Aha... I guess it may seem like that sometimes."

"But that's the thing! I don't want this 'special treatment.' It makes me feel bad, useless! Like all I'm doing is taking and taking from you while all you do is give!" It took a bit to hold myself back from raising my tone further. "I don't want to be your baby forever! Why do I even need special treatment? Why won't you let me give back as well? You always refuse to let me do anything, even if it's as simple as just paying for lunch! Do you even realize how hard its been for me?!"

"Hard?"

"Yes! Hard! How do you think it would feel, if the girl you you liked since so long ago only saw you as a- as just someone to look after! Am I too immature for you? Maybe I should change myself up a bit, huh? Oh, is my tone a bit too raised? Maybe I should get myself a pacifier-" My eyes were shut so tight I could almost not feel them. My little outburst had started to build up, and so did the tears that built up at the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall. But I can't cry. Not here at least. Only kids cried. I'm better than that. I don't to cry. I'm strong. I'm not a baby, I'm--

A hand placed itself on my shoulder. It felt light, despite the weight I already felt on my shoulders.

"Hyejoo..." Her voice was soft. "I never knew you felt this way."

"Maybe all I'm good at is hiding. Like a kid. I always did win when we played hide and seek back then." 

"The fact that you could even still joke like this..." Her hand slid into mine, to which I visibly flinched, a little surprised that she would still attend to my needy self after my outburst. "I remember you being such a shy kid back then. You even hid behind me when you were first introduced to Yerim."

"Yeah."

"And every time I'd be off to hang out with my own friends, you would try making me stay."

"Yeah, I did."

"You'd always hold my hand."

"I did."

"Like how I'm holding onto yours right now."

"...Yeah."

We sat on her bed for a few minutes, not looking at each other, her head resting on my shoulder. Until she spoke up again.

"I watched you grow up, you know."

"It sounds a bit weird if you say it like that," I said, my voice quiet compared to minutes ago.

Chaewon let out a chuckle. "Sure... but it doesn't change the fact that you've grown into a great woman, Hyejoo. You know that, right?" She used her free hand to turn my head towards her, making sure our eyes met. "I'm a terrible person."

"No you aren't!"

"But I am! Clearly, you've been hurting, and it's all because of me! ...This is my own doing."

"Please, don't say that. I-- I know. You're too focused on studies, on exams." My hand squeezed hers. "There's no need for you to reciprocate. I love you, and you'll always be my special unnie."

I felt her take a deep breath in, out. "It's true. Exams are stressing me out. I'm worrying about how well my applications are. Will this university accept me? Or will this one? What if plan A and B don't work out? What if I don't have a plan C? ...I'm really stressed out, Hyejoo."

"Yeah, I know."

"But do you know about how whenever I'm with you, the stress just seems to fade away, even in the slightest?"

"...Not really."

She let out a snort.

"You really have your way with words, now don't you..." She looked down towards the bed sheets, contemplating what to say next. "You're not just some kid, Hyejoo. You were, we all were, just some stupid kids, free in our youth. Now, we're adults! Basically, at the very least. And we have a lot of priorities at the moment, mainly the future."

"Almost there."

"Right." Our fingers intertwined. "And you asked me about my plans for the future, right? University is one of them, of course, but I also want you in my future, Hyejoo. I want  _you _, and I'd only hope you would let me be a part of yours."__

__I was awestruck. I didn't think my childish outburst would reach to this point. I couldn't tell if the tears were from the happiness that welled within me, or if they were from the sole factor that I didn't believe what was happening. It must be a dream, right?_ _

__"Are you kidding me? Of course I do, Chae."_ _

__She smiled, that wonderful smile of hers. Heck, it was brighter than Yerim's._ _

__"Good. Then, if I wait for you, will you wait for me?"_ _

__"I will."_ _

__"Promise?"_ _

__"I promise."_ _

__"You pinky promise?" She held out her pinky, her tiny pinky, up, waiting for my own to intertwine with hers._ _

__So I did, wrapping my pinky around hers, marking our promise of the future. She squealed from joy, wrapping her arms around my waist. I gave into the weight, letting us both fall into the mattress, laying together, laughing at the point we've gotten ourselves to._ _

__"Hey, Chae?"_ _

__"Hmm?"_ _

__"I love you."_ _

__"I love you too, Hyejoo."_ _

__I hid my face into the pillow, embarrassed at even saying the words._ _

__"I'll always love you, even when I'm older, I'll continue to love you."_ _

__"How romantic..." She snuggled her own face into my shirt. "And as will I."_ _

__"Can we stay like this, even for just a couple more minutes, please?" I pleaded. Can't I just be a little selfish for the final time?_ _

__"...I was getting bored with studying, anyway."_ _

__

__**The End** _ _

**Author's Note:**

> drop a comment or say hi on twitter -> @ideallyves


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